CIRCULATION OF ANY OF THESE PHOTOS IN HERE IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
Reach me through theaquinolazaro@gmail.com
The month began positively.
It was last month when Ora asked to Oscar to buy her a smurf toy,
and so we headed to McDonalds to buy her what she wanted,
when we arrived home
and I showed her the toy still sealed in a plastic,
she recognized it right
away.
“Thank you Papa Ca.” Were all she had spoken.
There were series of good lessons with Ora at night and she’s
responding positively.
I bought her books to help in tutoring her.
Came good
news, in academics,
Ora ranked first at school during her last exam recently.
Each day she’s learning different things and also without missing
a day
she’s losing gazillion of hair clips and pony tails and crayons at school
and still she hates writing.
The following week my heart cries
quietly.
My kids have been in pain for days now.
I can bear my own pain, but
theirs weakens me.
We had a short travel to
Oscar’s hometown;
we stayed for only about 4 hours which was truly not the
plan.
We wanted to stay much longer yet we needed to take Ora back home for she
rapidly felt bad.
We thought she was fine already after 2 days of fever.
On our way to the hospital I hold her while feeling so weak with constant coughing.
My girl was diagnosed of having pneumonia.
But she’s remained my brave little one.
The nurse needed to take a blood sample with her but instead of crying, she chanted a song and with her every pace, pause and sigh I heard…
“Love of Jesus sweet and marvelous, love of Jesus… Ahray!!!! … sweet and marvelous … ohhhh… ohhh…
and along with her lines I heard the nurse sang…
After days of not being at pre-school,
her teacher paid her a visit at home to check Ora’s condition.
For the first time, we let her used nebulizer to aid her in her breathing.
On some occasions she complained about the pain in her tummy every time she coughs.
I would often hear her say “Mama Da, masakit ang belly-belly.”
More than this, it is still so amazing to see that I still look at her with such love and beauty despite of the weakness her body endures.
Quad, after few days got terribly sick
and every one at home were terribly fretful.
His temperature never touched
normal.
Once in a while he feels frail then back to being spirited.
On some
nights he would cough terrible cough and made some constant cries.
With my body covering him at night and with
his small hand holding mine,
my heart trembles every time he cries for
pain.
But my voice and touch holds more power
than it ever has.
The sound is calming him and to him my hands, always a spring
of ease.
And he’s back to sleep again.
It’s just so heartbreaking every time I
leave home to work during the day seeing him so pathetic,
with his eyes communicating
to mine,
that he needed me having him that awful feeling.
I stay up late
with late dinner retelling stories to Oscar and stories in the news web.
Then
he would ask if I ate my lunch.
Then I would try to deviate to another story.
One rainy ,humid afternoon, my uncle,
who
suffers from diabetes came and stayed for days at home.
I talked life and death
with Oscar,
I told him I’d rather suffer from asthma when I die rather than be
eaten alive with my own flesh and people around me complains about the foul
awful smell. Lol.
On a lighter side… in random topics,
Quad in which his hair is
getting so long makes us want to go to a kids barber shop and let him have a
new hairstyle.
Then in the mornings before Oscar and I would leave the kids,
Quad would specially have a short while carry and he would just lie to his
papa’s shoulder and when being put down ,
he would cry and in an instant,
we
would see an awful little boy begging and wanting to be held.
Once in a while, I feel the overshadowing pull of commitments and
engagements that I must attend to and I feel trapped.
So I wasn’t able to come to Ora’s dance presentation.
I fail to
see the moment where she was given flattering remarks by Mayor Duterte in his
speech for a solo dance performance. Lol!
Well, that’s for the reason that the
show should apparently be carried out by 13 kids,
but on the day of
performance,
I was told that she, was the only one who did the full performance
in the entire presentation.
Where hundreds of audience gathered around the
venue intrigued by who will be performing with its loud music, possessing you,
completely taking over your body and force you to dance,
only to find out that
there was only one little girl dancing while the other kids ended up as her back ups.
Yes! I am truly lucky for me having these wonderful creations.
Perhaps, this verse somehow, speaks beautifully to what I am feeling now…
Garth Brooks’ song, “Unanswered Prayers", he sings:
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care
Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
Now and again I pause and wonder when
I call them my babies,
if they really still are.
I remembered when my decision to have
children early may be an unaccepted one,
but for me it makes all the sense in
the world.
It makes me wish that people would
see us for our thoughts and actions,
not how many days we’ve been alive.
Today, I would I sit down and I would gather my thoughts and I will look back 8 years ago, the year I met the man that I never thought would be my forever.
B, I know that, no matter what, we'll stay together, through thick and thin. That's what real love and commitment is all about, and that's what I have for you. I was remembering our courtship and how we would look into each other's eyes and talk about growing old together. Of course, we had no idea what that meant, but we knew we had our whole lives before us. Now, we’re here, not old yet! Eight years later, still in love, still happy,still looking toward the horizon wanting to walk the journey of life together.
Thank you for loving me back and being my beautiful and great companion for the last eight years. When I feel that things are bigger than me, you are always there, holding my hand, showing me that together we can handle anything in our path. Thank you for remaining infinitely patient in me. I am indeed a work in progress.
Thank you for encouraging me and pushing me further than I think I can possibly go. Thank you for acknowledging that being a mother and wife is just a part of who I am and for encouraging me to be Adang, the struggling writer, the teacher, the woman, the individual. Thank you for Quad and Ora, our sweet super one and megamind, that I didn’t realize I even wanted.
Thank you for investing in our partnership every single day. Whether it’s preparing me my coffee in the morning, though sometimes I would leave it without a sip or calling me before you head home.
And we've had fun, haven't we? Remember when Ora was young and we were so broke. We went downtown with Ora and all we could offer her is just a small five peso cone of an ice cream. Somehow, we’re still blessed, now we could buy her gelato atleast!Just a cone nga lang… Lol!
We shared so much, both good times and hard times, but we've faced everything together.
Eight years ago, I had no idea that I would be with someone that would become more and more lovely as time passed. We have been through so much together, I know we can weather the years ahead.
So, B, isteyput lang! Kaon sa ta!
;)
