What comprises a quality of love in our life? Explore this page as it intimately reveals our journey through love, hardships and survival.
I don't regret the things I have done
or the things I have chosen not to do because whatever I've done,
I must have done something right because I ended up with you.
I’ve never been one to live in the moment. I remember sitting on
my bed in high school with a pen and a notebook, planning my life — when I’d
graduate college, where I’d work, when I’d meet my husband, when we’d get
married, when I’d have my first (a boy), my second (a girl), and where I’d
throw in my professional achievements.
The Beginning…
And when you think about it, most love stories start that way. Every moment leading up to the one in which you meet your future husband or wife somehow shapes you and prepares you for that person you were fated for.
I
was on my way out from my university with a close friend walking along the road
when I heard a beep. Irritated, I checked my phone and contemplated of who’s
that someone sending me messages all over.
For
the past few days I’ve been receiving anonymous messages from people I’ve never
heard of. On my screen it says “Hi” with my nickname on it. These messages I’ve
been receiving are driving me nuts!
Then,
that person from another line made a reply. He stated his name.
E,
my friend, who walked beside me giggled. “I’m sorry I had to give your
number to him” she uttered. For the second time assertively I made a
reply and typed, “Well, I give fisticuffs to people I do not
know."…and he made no respond.
Little did I know that from a petty fight,
begins a love that grows over time...
I’ve
been hearing his name long before he sent messages. Way back when I was in my
freshmen years in our university I used to have a very close friend who talked
about this guy she met on her application for writers in our university paper.
She was astoundingly amazed of how this guy showed his ability during the
interviews and writings. Then they became org-mates. So I was quite aware
already about him. Sometimes I found it amusing when I would occasionally heard his name mentioned while I’m walking
along the campus and I knew it was him mentioned by his close friends who were
my classmates back then in my freshmen year.
I
went on with my life. I regard each days as ordinary days focused in one goal
and that is to finish my degree. And having a boyfriend was a no-no!
But then one day, sometime in July 2005, our paths did cross. And to make it all the more strange, neither of us planned to meet —the encounter was, truly, by chance.
I was in the rest room
when Ms. E borrowed my phone. She said she needed to message somebody very
important. I offered. Funny how the smallest little decisions and changes of course can alter the entire plot of your life.
The weather was God’s
grace. Breezy, skies aren’t clear and looks like it would rain on that
afternoon yet, calming and beautiful. We walked over the pathway when she
asked me to wait for a while. I sat down on the log beneath those acacia trees.
She pointed her look towards a group of engineering students doing their field
survey. I heard her voice from afar and out of the blue this guy was in front
of me. He wore clothes like any other students, he wore it properly. He was
neat and with a bright look on his face. He bravely introduced himself to
me. Vaguely, I smiled and he offered me a handshake.
He chose to sit beside
me. The least I could do is to carry a conversation on that astonishing moment.
Then, I asked to go home. They left and dated each other.
The beautiful sunshine
brought warmth the next day. I received a message from him and invited me to meet with him. Even though I was very self reserved, I wasn’t clueless. But needless to say, I accepted the invitation.
And all that changed on one unexpected July day.
The next thing I knew he
was already making his way towards me, with a hint of a smile on his face.
Days passed and weeks and
a month, we became boyfriends and girlfriends. Oh Yes! As quick as
that! Let's just say I was testing the bounds of reality. I was
curious to see what would happen. That's all it was:
curiosity. But there was something in him I liked about and we get
along well. We collected the same interests and argued on the same things.
That was the day I had a boyfriend for the
first time...
Oh yes! The best things in life come at the most unexpected moments... Meeting him was my fate. He became my friend and eventually a best friend and falling in love with him, I had no control over.
Oh yes! The best things in life come at the most unexpected moments... Meeting him was my fate. He became my friend and eventually a best friend and falling in love with him, I had no control over.
But ours was not a
conventional relationship. It was not known by everyone. There were times we
needed to deny it to others to keep this from our family’s awareness.
Fast Forward….
A year has passed I used
to see him from afar with his friends. I missed the days when we hold hands and
share about our views and grumbles in life. He knew a lot of things. There were
moments that we will just sat beside each other, disagreeing, chitchatting, and
owning up one’s feelings for each other. I found my friend and brother in him.
But on how fast we started, it’s just as well how sudden we parted ways.
I never heard of him.
Even a word. I never heard anything from him the moment when I broke up. ‘Twas
a relationship that deserves no attention we had perhaps.
A week passed I started
to miss him.
One cold night I was on
my way of our school gate alone, heading home after a days work in our school
paper when my phone vibrated. After a week of no Hi’s and Hello’s
he asked me to give him time to talk with him. I saw him from afar outside the
campus waiting for me. Everything went fine after that. We’re back on each
other’s arms and together we shared a bitter-sweet relationship.
We were tested. There
were times I cried for his conceitedness….
One gloomy afternoon…
I could strongly remember
when he wrote an article about my very own college paper where I used to be the
editor in chief questioning us about our system. The next thing I knew he
was in front of our local television making complaints about the harassments
our moderator made to their publication.
40 of our classmates
together with me we’re busy dubbing in a record studio for our play project.
Everyone’s busy when out of the blue someone called me asking me to watch the
news on that afternoon. There he was being interviewed by a local news reporter.
The next day when I visited our publication office I heard rants from our
male moderator about him as usual.
That plump adviser didn’t
know actually that we we’re BFs and GFs. Whenever our moderator bad mouthed him
I just say yes and smile but extremely I wanted to grab his pen on his shirt
and prick his eyes with it or worse slap his mouth with my pointed deadly
shoes. Hehehe…
But we did argue about
it. I felt offended of what he did. From then on there were series of exchange
articles coming from each of our publications about our Org’s disputes. With
our names embedded on each sets of published articles we had. Every one read,
but nobody knows about how these two writers valued each other from behind.
I know his rights. I
valued his opinions and have high regards about his judgments. I guess that’s
how relationships should be. The best thing would be to let them know that
you were disappointed by what they did but avoid being angry and
confrontational.
Our promise to each other
remained. I graduated from University while him he needed 1 more year to finish
his degree. It was him who celebrated with me on my victory on that very
day. I shared to him how happy I was speaking in front of thousands of
people doing my graduation speech and he felt proud. It was him who knew about
my rants in life. He listens and he would just hug me when I’m feeling
miserable and when I’m about to surrender.
3 years had past we
remained strong. We have had our ups and downs, betrayals, and times of giving
ups but we we’re still back to each other. But I guess they say it right that
Love isn't tested by how good it makes you feel. It's tested by whether
you are brave enough to feel every part of it.
He graduated from
College, while I’m enjoying my job.
The surprise.
Unexpected moments become your favorite
memories and realizing that the man you love will remain with you,
telling you that everything would be fine is the best feeling you could have.
telling you that everything would be fine is the best feeling you could have.
Everything changed when I
showed to him the dipstick used to determine pregnancy. When he knew about it,
I saw in his face the plights we’ll be going through. I cried of knowing what
would come sooner. Having a baby at 21 is different than 31, which is different
than 41. It’s a crazy thing for me to understand, because I always wanted
to have a family one day. But not at that very moment. I refuse to
use the word “unplanned,” because it inherently whispers “unwanted.” Along with
irresponsible, reckless, stupid. We did plan to have our baby. We
desperately wanted to have. Just…not yet… We worry about our parents’
reactions, disappointments… regrets. So it was ultimately a schockingly
surprising piece of information we did from our parents.
After seeing a faint
double line mere 5 months after graduating from college, my life was
drastically restructured, my goals and priorities re-evaluated. I graduated
with latin honors and everyone around me expected so much. I had a wonderful
man, but do young relationships ever last? I had ambition and dreams, but what
would happen now? And of course we’re broke. I was scared of the
responsibility, of labor, of losing my figure. I cried. A lot. I felt furious
at myself but not to the baby.
We’re undeniably not
ready but all I had that time was a hug and assurance from him that everything
will be okay. Never did I hear from him questioning about it. The only
thing we’re sure about that moment is we love each other and we will soon to
have our own family.
So Ora is our SURPRISE
baby. Only it didn’t quite feel like the balloon-throwing, cake-eating. It was
more of the oh-my-god-this-can’t-be-happening surprise. It was the kind of
surprise that took nine months to brew, to sink in, not hitting me until the very
end. But the reason of our fears and worries, became the wonderful
sunshine that puts smile into everybody's hearts.
But the test of love comes in crisis.
Months had past, I
continued to work while his finishing his last year in college and doing his
job as well. We’re closer to seeing our little one.
The day of my labor came
and I had him beside me on our way to the hospital. All we had that time was
meager money and some clothes for me and for my baby. But God is good! Finally.
Finally! We saw for the first time our lovely girl. She was real! A powerful
reminder to both of us… A new chapter we will be going through. New
values to learn, new hopes and priorities to come.
He goes to work from
afar…. Things came differently and we both realize we need to do extra works
for our family is growing. When we’re apart, I learned to be independent.
Following up documents which we used to do together, times when I paced under
the rain carrying those heavy groceries with my tattered umbrella which at
times giving me the sense of being alone, taking my daughter to the doctor by
myself. These are just few of the things I learned while he’s away.
But if I had just a magic
wand many years ago one that would allow my life to follow one I had planned
for, I wouldn’t want that life anymore—not in comparison to this one. I
wouldn’t have him. I wouldn’t have a family I always wanted to have.
Yet… yet…. I want a baby…
The unplanning has been so wonderful…
A year and 8 months of
bitter-sweet moments we had endured another early baby came. I conceived our second one.
I got so incredibly sick
on my second pregnancy. When he got his new job in the city he always
accompanies me going to work for my huge tummy. He checked on me now and then
if I’m okay.
34 weeks had passed I’m
about to give birth. That was a scary and devastating labor I had. I dropped my
heartbeat and so was my son too. I got operated and we spent our days
struggling for money. Everything I’d witness on those moments was a worried but
strong-minded man. His unwavering courage was contagious. He spent the 8 days
taking good care of me in the hospital while finding ways how to store up money
to pay our huge bills. We spent days in those corners of the room, only the two
of us. The
credit card we had couldn’t compensate the six zeros reflected on our hospital
bill we need to pay off. But somehow we gathered our strength
through the help of friends and family and officemates. Until
now I couldn’t help shedding tears whenever it flashes in my memory. As
difficult as it was, it was well worth all I had to go through. I don't
know why God has blessed us so...... Most days we know we don't deserve these
miracles.....but I just try and do a little better and show God how thankful I
am!!!!!
I believe life is
constantly testing us for our level of commitment.
We
committed. Together we’re one.
Through the pressures of the present and
the uncertainties of the future, we promise to be faithful, to love, guide, and
protect each other.
We promised to be best friends and a shoulder to cry
on.
We
promised to be in each others' darkest moments.
We promise to be the person we
can trust…
B,
I thank you for holding on to our marriage. I know it wasn’t as smooth sailing
as we hoped it to be, The first few years of our marriage was a struggle
financially , but I appreciate the fact that you are still here with me. Thanks
for sticking out with me through thick and thin.
I
am truly lucky for you still are the source of my strength in times when I’m
feeling so low. Thanks for the vote of confidence in times when I doubted
myself. Thanks for still seeing the goodness in me even in the most trying
moments.
Even
when the romance is gone, I will look forward to the time that we would sit on
our respective rocking chairs holding hands (and still gossiping about other
people). I truly want to grow old with you.
I
really wanted the whole world to know that I will marry the same person all
over again in a heartbeat. For I am still grateful to be your wife... You will
still be the man I will walked with many times... down the aisle ...
This life can be a beautiful thing – sometimes sad, sometimes tragic, sometimes full of sorrow and suffering and pain – but ALWAYS full of love.
We
learned not to expect in life. To us every moment is a surprise.
And
surprises brings HAPPINESS.
Thank
You For Dropping By!
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